Author Topic: The Funny Side  (Read 46517 times)

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Offline Davesheli

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Re: The Funny Side
« Reply #480 on: April 08, 2017, 06:32:34 PM »
 :face-slap: :face-slap: :face-slap: :face-slap: :face-slap: :face-slap: :face-slap: :face-slap:

 :b0230: :b0230: :b0230: :b0230: :b0230: :b0230:

That's just not right Phil.... :b0209: :0042v1: :b0201: :b0201: :b0201: :b0201:

 :b0230: :b0230: :b0230: :b0230: :b0230: :b0230:




 :coolguy:

Offline AKPhill

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Re: The Funny Side
« Reply #481 on: April 08, 2017, 09:49:55 PM »
It’s a little blue, but it gave me a laugh!

A woman is pregnant with triplets. One day she goes into a bank just as it’s being held up. She gets shot 3 times in the stomach, but luckily she lives.

She goes to the doctor who tells her that her children will be all right, and that one day the bullets will simply come out.

So 15 years later, one triplet, a girl, runs out of the bathroom and says “MOM, MOM, I WAS GOING TO THE BATHROOM AND A BULLET CAME OUT!” So the mother tells her the story of what happened 15 years ago.

The next day the second daughter comes out and says the same thing, “MOM, I WAS GOING TO THE BATHROOM AND A BULLET CAME OUT!”

On the third day the son comes out and says “MOM, MOM!”

She asks, “Let me guess, you were going to the bathroom and a bullet came out?”

The boy replies, “No, I was jerking off and I shot the dog!”

Offline Davesheli

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Re: The Funny Side
« Reply #482 on: April 09, 2017, 09:37:56 PM »
 :b0201: :b0201: :b0201: :b0201: :b0201: :b0201: :b0201: :b0201:
 :face-slap: :face-slap: :b0209: :showing-ass:


 :coolguy:

Offline Rumblecloud

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Re: The Funny Side
« Reply #483 on: April 25, 2017, 09:38:50 AM »
    The boss of a Madison Avenue advertising agency called a spontaneous staff meeting in the middle of a particularly stressful week. (This is one pretty sharp boss!)

    When everyone gathered, the boss, who understood the benefits of having fun, told the burnt out staff the purpose of the meeting was to have a quick contest. The theme: Viagra advertising slogans.The only rule was they had to use past ad slogans, originally written for other products that captured the essence of Viagra. Slight variations were acceptable.

    About 7 minutes later, they turned in their suggestions and created a Top 10 List.. With all the laughter and camaraderie, the rest of the week went very well for everyone! The top 10 were:

    10. Viagra, Whaazzzz up!
    9. Viagra, The quicker pecker picker upper.
    8. Viagra, like a rock!
    7. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight.
    6. Viagra, Be all that you can be.
    5. Viagra, Reach out and touch someone.
    4. Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.
    3. Viagra, Home of the whopper !
    2. Viagra, We bring good things to Life!

    And the unanimous number one slogan:  :t1815:

    1. This is your peepee... This is your peepee on drugs

Offline Davesheli

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Re: The Funny Side
« Reply #484 on: April 25, 2017, 02:13:14 PM »
 :b0230: :b0230: :b0230: :b0230: :b0230: :b0230: :b0230: :b0230: :b0230: :b0230:



 :coolguy:

Offline Rumblecloud

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Re: The Funny Side
« Reply #485 on: August 14, 2017, 11:16:40 AM »
RALPH AND EDNA

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
 
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news.
The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love... I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.
The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.
 
Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry.
How soon can I go home?'

Happy Mental Health Day!
You can do your bit by remembering to send this to an unstable friend... I've done my part. Life is short, drink the good wine first.

Offline Davesheli

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Re: The Funny Side
« Reply #486 on: August 14, 2017, 03:27:43 PM »
That sound like Juanita and I when we get old....  :b0201: :b0201: :b0201: :b0201: :b0201: :b0201: :b0201: :b0201:

Thanks for posting randy :t2030: :t2030:




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Offline Bigal1951

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Re: The Funny Side
« Reply #487 on: August 14, 2017, 07:38:07 PM »
That was good Randy, thanks for sharing.  :b0201:

Offline AKPhill

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Re: The Funny Side
« Reply #488 on: August 15, 2017, 12:44:56 AM »
 :b0201: :b0201: :b0201: :b0201: Good one

Offline AKPhill

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Re: The Funny Side
« Reply #489 on: August 26, 2017, 06:21:07 PM »
Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Darryl and Gary.
The three men had always done everything together!!!!!

Darryl arrived first and when the mortician pulled back the sheet Darryl said, “Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over.”

The mortician rolled him over, and Darryl said, “Nope, ain’t Bubba.”

The mortician thought this was rather strange. Then he brought Gary in to identify the body.

Gary looked at the body and said, “Yup he’s pretty well burnt up. Roll him over.” The mortician rolled him over and Gary said, “No, it ain’t Bubba.”

The mortician asked, “How can you tell?”

Gary said, “Well, Bubba had two assholes.”

“What? He had two assholes?” asked the mortician.

Yup, I’ve never seen ‘em, but everyone knew he had two assholes. Every time we went to town, folks would say, “Here comes Bubba with them two assholes!”

Offline Rumblecloud

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Re: The Funny Side
« Reply #490 on: August 27, 2017, 07:45:53 AM »
 :b0201: :b0201: :b0201: :b0201: :b0201: :b0201: :b0201: :b0201:
and this too seems approprite...

 :showing-ass: :showing-ass:

Offline Davesheli

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Re: The Funny Side
« Reply #491 on: August 27, 2017, 09:27:21 AM »
 :b0230: :b0230: :b0230: :b0230: :b0230: :b0230: :b0230: :b0230:

Loved it Phill........


 :coolguy:

Offline AKPhill

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Re: The Funny Side
« Reply #492 on: September 01, 2017, 10:53:01 AM »
Guy finds gorilla in his backyard, but the removal process is a real pain

A man walked into his backyard one morning and found there was a gorilla in a tree.

He called a gorilla removal service, and soon a serviceman arrived with a stick, a Chihuahua, a pair of handcuffs and a shotgun.

“Now listen carefully,” he told the homeowner, “I’m going to climb the tree and poke the gorilla with this stick until he falls to the ground.

The trained Chihuahua will then go right for his, uh, sensitive area, and when the gorilla instinctively crosses his hands in front to protect himself, you slap the handcuffs on.”

“Ok, got it,” the homeowner replied, “but… what’s that shotgun for?”

“If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla,” the man said, “shoot the Chihuahua.”

Offline Davesheli

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Re: The Funny Side
« Reply #493 on: September 03, 2017, 06:20:13 AM »
Guy finds gorilla in his backyard, but the removal process is a real pain

A man walked into his backyard one morning and found there was a gorilla in a tree.

He called a gorilla removal service, and soon a serviceman arrived with a stick, a Chihuahua, a pair of handcuffs and a shotgun.

“Now listen carefully,” he told the homeowner, “I’m going to climb the tree and poke the gorilla with this stick until he falls to the ground.

The trained Chihuahua will then go right for his, uh, sensitive area, and when the gorilla instinctively crosses his hands in front to protect himself, you slap the handcuffs on.”

“Ok, got it,” the homeowner replied, “but… what’s that shotgun for?”

“If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla,” the man said, “shoot the Chihuahua.”


 :b0201: :b0201: :b0201: :b0201: :b0201: :b0201: :b0201: :b0201: :b0201: :b0201: :showing-ass:




 :coolguy:

Offline Rumblecloud

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Re: The Funny Side
« Reply #494 on: September 03, 2017, 08:58:29 AM »
 :b0201: :b0201: :b0201: :b0201: :b0201: :b0201: :b0201: :b0201: :b0201:

 :t1815:

 

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